That's a really good (and sensitively phrased) question. I don't know? I've been moving on sheer forward momentum for so long now, I'm not sure I know what's volitional and what's just habit. That's one of the things I'm hoping the therapy will help with -- sorting out my habits, obligations, desires. It's all such a tangle.
Also part of why it feels so important to get this written down, while I'm experiencing it.
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branchandroot
(no subject)
Date: 2018-07-09 08:30 am (UTC)Also part of why it feels so important to get this written down, while I'm experiencing it.