Candidate for my LinkedIn header
Dec. 6th, 2022 03:38 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
karlhtOk, here's the thing. If you're a white man, don't assume I'm going to agree with you because of what you can see of me when I appear on the Zoom call. If you're not a white man, I already expect that you will rightfully ignore any "statements of allyship" and pay attention to what I do and who it benefits; I don't have to tell you how all this works.
"My people" are not all people who look like me. And not all people that I recognise as "my people" recognise me as theirs. That's ok.
I shouldn't have to disclose to you which communities are "most" important to me. I shouldn't have to disclose to you what my mother did for a living when I was a teenager to "justify" my feelings about cops. I shouldn't have to refer to any religious basis when I tell you that my people are the widow, the orphan, and the stranger.
If your space is visibly dominated by white men with beards, it won't be welcoming to me even though I am, in fact, a white man with a beard. Yes, even if most of them are queer.
If your space isn't welcoming to GNC folks (non-binary people or anyone else who doesn't perform gender "appropriately"), it won't be welcoming to me, even though my gender presentation is about as Silicon Valley-typical as you can get.
If your space isn't welcoming to Black trans women, it won't be welcoming to me. And if your organization is claiming to want to do good in the world and you don't even have one Black woman in leadership, I am going to side-eye you and your organization forever. This is table stakes, people.
These all apply whether your space is online or off.
I have always felt most comfortable, most welcomed, most valued as a colleague, when in the company of furries, queers, trans folk, and self-described freaks with their own self-described 'freak flags.'
And finally, though I can't believe I actually have to say this: I am not interested in "winning hearts and minds" of people who want my people and me out of their sight or dead. This includes the vast majority of US Republicans and right-wing Europeans. The rich and selfish are not my people; they mean harm to me and mine.
"My people" are not all people who look like me. And not all people that I recognise as "my people" recognise me as theirs. That's ok.
I shouldn't have to disclose to you which communities are "most" important to me. I shouldn't have to disclose to you what my mother did for a living when I was a teenager to "justify" my feelings about cops. I shouldn't have to refer to any religious basis when I tell you that my people are the widow, the orphan, and the stranger.
If your space is visibly dominated by white men with beards, it won't be welcoming to me even though I am, in fact, a white man with a beard. Yes, even if most of them are queer.
If your space isn't welcoming to GNC folks (non-binary people or anyone else who doesn't perform gender "appropriately"), it won't be welcoming to me, even though my gender presentation is about as Silicon Valley-typical as you can get.
If your space isn't welcoming to Black trans women, it won't be welcoming to me. And if your organization is claiming to want to do good in the world and you don't even have one Black woman in leadership, I am going to side-eye you and your organization forever. This is table stakes, people.
These all apply whether your space is online or off.
I have always felt most comfortable, most welcomed, most valued as a colleague, when in the company of furries, queers, trans folk, and self-described freaks with their own self-described 'freak flags.'
And finally, though I can't believe I actually have to say this: I am not interested in "winning hearts and minds" of people who want my people and me out of their sight or dead. This includes the vast majority of US Republicans and right-wing Europeans. The rich and selfish are not my people; they mean harm to me and mine.
(no subject)
Date: 2022-12-07 06:47 pm (UTC)I woke up thinking of "Act Naturally," this morning myself... not related to gender presentation.(I don't think, but I do often feel equally uncomfortable in really queer or really aggressively het spaces...not sure if 'ambivalent' is now an orientation{I'm kidding; nobody needs to call me that, promise) or if being an Outsider is just such a habit, I can't stop.
And therefore will never find my people and end up alone and, eventually, nibbled by an Alsatian.
More seriously, I love that you wrote this and very much hope you find a place that thinks this is awesome too.